The Stare Down

A few weeks ago my co-teacher came into the classroom with a script he wanted me to proofread. As best as I can tell (details of these types of projects rarely get translated or explained, I’m usually left to fill in the blanks) they were submitting a video of a role play to the Office of Education as part of a competition. The topic chosen was “what to do when you meet a foreigner on the street.” After trying to explain my initial reaction of- “umm, if they don’t know the foreigner they really shouldn’t do anything...” we came to an understanding and I was able to check for fluency, grammar, natural speech... the usual. However, I found it interesting that the first of this three point script was-

• If you see a foreigner on the street, don’t stare. 

Honestly, it made me giggle at my desk for a bit but then it got me thinking.

If you have traveled to a location where you standout you are probably familiar with ‘The Stare’. Walking down the street, going into a restaurant, shopping in a store, sooner or later you are bound to feel the eyes focused on you at some point or another. Here in Korea, I stick out... it’s pretty obvious I’m not from ‘round these parts. There are days when the staring can really get to you and your only wish in the world is to just blend in with your surroundings for once. But I find myself going back and forth trying to answer this question- Do people REALLY stare at me more here?  Or am I just hyper-aware that I’m different so it only feels like people are watching my every move? I think the answer is- yes, to both.

For the most part, if I’m walking around downtown, people leave me be. There’s enough of us foreigners around that we aren’t really a novelty. Every now and then you’ll get the elementary student pointing out the ‘외국인’ (waygookin) or (my personal favorite) the middle school kid who’s going to impress his friends by using English to say “hello”, you can tell it’s a big moment when I respond with a smile and “hi”. But other than that I don’t think I get any more attention then I would back home.

With that said, there have been times when I’ve got ‘The Stare’ and it was obviously because I didn’t fit in with the rest. The first occurrences came when I started walking around my neighborhood. Often the older ajumma or ajusshi would stare at me the whole time I walked past them, I find the older generations are rather unabashed in their staring.

Another time was when I was running errands with my Korean Family. We stopped by the local ice skating rink after school to sign the boys up for skating lessons. As I waited by the rink watching the future olympic figure skaters and speed skaters practice I caught three of the moms giving me the “toe to head scan”. To their credit when they noticed they had been caught all three smiled and gave me the head nod/bow thing you do. But it was pretty obvious by their expressions I did not belong in this setting and they were trying to decide how I had gotten there and what to think of me.

The flip side to this experience is that, sometimes, me being different and nonkorean is a bigger deal to me than anyone else around me. I’m probably the most aware that I’m different. I can’t speak Korean, so if I need to communicate something I have to hype myself up and be ready for the challenge. When I can’t, for the life of me, find oatmeal at the store my options to ask for help are limited. When I’m in situations where I’m less sure of myself I immediately assume everyone else around me is watching me and can tell I have no idea what’s going on! When, in reality, most people are too busy looking at their phones or checking their hair in a mirror to pay attention to anything around them.

In the end I guess “The Stare” is just something you have to get used to, it happens. And, when I think about it, sometimes it’s not all bad. There was that cute guy on the bus the other day, and the old lady that told me I was pretty at the convenience store, and the middle school girls who stop me outside the subway to say they like my hair... yah, I guess it’s not all bad to get noticed sometimes....

Kpop Song of the Week: B.A.P- Stop It

A visual representation of how all the cute Korean guys stare at me when I walk by*. It also taught me how to say "stop it" in Korean which I say (in my mind) to people when I get annoyed with the staring.

*that sentence would be completely true if you replace "cute korean guys" with "kids and old people".
Also, if someone can explain the tail to me I'd be grateful... really!