In the Classroom: The Phoebe Syndrome

I have recently become aware that I am suffering from a most troubling condition. I am sorry that I have to tell you this friends, but it seems I have developed a case of "The Phoebe Syndrome".

What’s that? You are unfamiliar with this disease? Well, let me give you the quick medical dictionary definition. The Phoebe Syndrome is named after the beloved character from the educational series The Magic School Bus. Symptoms include constantly muttering the phrase “At my old school....” when the current situation seems less than desirable. If left untreated this disease can lead to feelings of dissatisfaction, annoyance, and frustration.

Ok, in all seriousness I’ve been trying to think about how to write about this topic for some time now. Before I go any farther I feel like I need to preface by clearly and firmly stating that I am loving being here in Korea. I love my city, I love (most of) the food, and I love getting to know people here. There are many, many reasons why I love the school that I ended up at here in Korea. But...

…I miss my old school....

I knew going into this that teaching English was going to be very different than what I had done back in the States. To give you an idea:

- back home most of my students could understand most of the words I spoke. Here- not so much. Well nuh-duh Beth, that’s why you’re teaching them English. But it can be frustrating when a student starts to cry or two students are yelling at each other, about ready to throw punches and I have no idea why and very few ways to deal with the situation. My heart hurts when there are tears and punches and I can’t understand what caused it.

-back home I was the queen of my classroom, my word was law and within a matter of weeks ALL my students understood that. Here- I work with other Korean co-teachers to teach all my classes. Sometimes there’s a lot of cooks in the kitchen.

- back home I was part of a school that worked and communicated as a team. Here- I’m lucky if someone tells me my classes are canceled 10 minutes beforehand. Not because they are trying to make life difficult but simply because things don’t always get translated for me.

- back home I had MY class, MY students. They were my kids and I was responsible for them all year. I was involved in every part of their school life. By the end of the year I knew them, how they learned, what they were really good at, what they really struggled with. Here- I’m the “extra teacher”. The one they see every few days or so. I’m still struggling just to learn all their names.

-back home I was constantly busy with teaching and planning and assessing and meetings and recess duty.... the list goes on and on. Here- there have been days when all my classes are canceled for one reason or another so I sit. at a desk. allllllllll day.....

I think the bottom line is that I don’t always feel like a teacher here, and I really, REALLY miss that. So I find myself starting down the slippery slope of comparing “my old school”, what I used to do as a teacher, to what I’m doing now. It’s easy to focus on the negative, especially on those days when I’m “desk-warming”.

I love living in Korea. Do I love teaching English? I’m not really sure yet. All those frustrations I listed are so easy to focus on during the long, slow days when I have no classes. But...

… there are still students...

…and some days, I still feel like a teacher.

There are days when I get to teach a lesson and it goes really well. There are days when students work SO hard to tell me something in English during lunch. Not because it’s part of their school assignment but just because they want me to know what happened to them that morning. Some days I actually remember all their names and pronounce them correctly. Sometimes, when I’m walking down the street I hear, “Bethany Teacher!!!” and look up to see a student hanging out of a bus window waving at me frantically with a huge grin.

I love living in Korea but I miss my old school. I know that I will have to go back to being a traditional classroom teacher someday- it’s who I am. But maybe, instead of saying “at my old school” and getting frustrated l say “at this school”. Find those little ways that I can teach and be a teacher HERE. Because regardless of what country I’m in, what position I hold, I am still a teacher. I can find ways to make a difference and that “teaching high” feels just as good here as it did back home.